After leading a session at my housegroup last night on The Beatitudes (Matt 5) someone mentioned something called the devils beatitudes. I looked them up online and found two different versions. Each webpage states that the author is unknown. Reading through them does make you think...
Version 1
Blessed are those Christians who are TOO TIRED, TOO BUSY, too distracted to spend time with their fellow Christians in Church - for they are my best candidates to backslide.
Blessed are those Christians who WAIT TO BE ASKED and EXPECT TO BE THANKED - for I can use them to slow things down.
Blessed are those Christians who are TOUCHY; with a bit of luck they may STOP GOING TO CHURCH and get others to quit - they are my missionaries.
Blessed are those Christians who are VERY RELIGIOUS but GET ON EVERYONE'S nerves - they are my most effective stumbling blocks.
Blessed are those Christians who are CRITICAL of church authorities; with a bit of luck they may STOP GOING TO CHURCH and get others to quit - they are my missionaries.
Blessed are those Christians who are CONSISTENT CHURCH-HOPPERS; they help me decrease God's committed labor force, and are candidates for those waiting to be served rather than to serve.
Blessed are those Christians who are TROUBLEMAKERS - they are my best wrecking crew. GOSSIP and SLANDER are my favorite toys.
Blessed are those Christians who have NO TIME TO PRAY - they are the easiest prey for me - in fact, no effort at all.
Blessed are those Christians who are COMPLAINERS - they are my best discouragers. They do the work of doubting God and making His gifts look ugly.
Blessed are those Christians who practice HYPOCRISY - they prove that God is still not their master, and it is only a matter of time before I can edge my way in fully.
Blessed are those Christians who DO NOT READ THEIR BIBLES. I no longer need to think about what methods to use to deceive them, because now I can use any method, and they will be so weak, that any method will work!
Blessed are YOU when YOU read this and THINK IT IS ABOUT OTHER people and NOT YOURSELF -- I've got YOU! With people like YOU increasing, I can retire from my job soon.
Version 2
Blessed are those Christians who are CONSISTENT CHURCH-HOPPERS; they help me decrease God's committed labor force, and are candidates for those waiting to be served rather than to serve.
Blessed are those Christians who are TROUBLEMAKERS - they are my best wrecking crew. GOSSIP and SLANDER are my favorite toys.
Blessed are those Christians who have NO TIME TO PRAY - they are the easiest prey for me - in fact, no effort at all.
Blessed are those Christians who are COMPLAINERS - they are my best discouragers. They do the work of doubting God and making His gifts look ugly.
Blessed are those Christians who practice HYPOCRISY - they prove that God is still not their master, and it is only a matter of time before I can edge my way in fully.
Blessed are those Christians who DO NOT READ THEIR BIBLES. I no longer need to think about what methods to use to deceive them, because now I can use any method, and they will be so weak, that any method will work!
Blessed are YOU when YOU read this and THINK IT IS ABOUT OTHER people and NOT YOURSELF -- I've got YOU! With people like YOU increasing, I can retire from my job soon.
Version 2
Blessed are they who are too tired and busy to assemble with the church on Sunday; for they are my best workers.
Blessed are they who are bored with the minister's manner-isms and mistakes; for they get nothing out of the sermon.
Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church; for he is important to me.
Blessed are they who do not meet with the church on Sunday; for they cause the world to say, "The church is failing."
Blessed are they who are easily offended; for they get angry and quit.
Blessed are they who do not give to carry on God's work and missions; for they are my helpers.
Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother; for he will be with me forever. Blessed are the trouble-makers; for they shall be called the children of the devil.
Blessed is he who has not time to pray; for he shall be easy prey for me.
1 comment:
Food for thought Roothie as I've done most of those things at one time or another.
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