The devil's Beatitudes

After leading a session at my housegroup last night on The Beatitudes (Matt 5) someone mentioned something called the devils beatitudes. I looked them up online and found two different versions. Each webpage states that the author is unknown. Reading through them does make you think...

Version 1

Blessed are those Christians who are TOO TIRED, TOO BUSY, too distracted to spend time with their fellow Christians in Church - for they are my best candidates to backslide.

Blessed are those Christians who WAIT TO BE ASKED and EXPECT TO BE THANKED - for I can use them to slow things down.

Blessed are those Christians who are TOUCHY; with a bit of luck they may STOP GOING TO CHURCH and get others to quit - they are my missionaries.

Blessed are those Christians who are VERY RELIGIOUS but GET ON EVERYONE'S nerves - they are my most effective stumbling blocks.

Blessed are those Christians who are CRITICAL of church authorities; with a bit of luck they may STOP GOING TO CHURCH and get others to quit - they are my missionaries.
Blessed are those Christians who are CONSISTENT CHURCH-HOPPERS; they help me decrease God's committed labor force, and are candidates for those waiting to be served rather than to serve.
Blessed are those Christians who are TROUBLEMAKERS - they are my best wrecking crew. GOSSIP and SLANDER are my favorite toys.
Blessed are those Christians who have NO TIME TO PRAY - they are the easiest prey for me - in fact, no effort at all.
Blessed are those Christians who are COMPLAINERS - they are my best discouragers. They do the work of doubting God and making His gifts look ugly.
Blessed are those Christians who practice HYPOCRISY - they prove that God is still not their master, and it is only a matter of time before I can edge my way in fully.
Blessed are those Christians who DO NOT READ THEIR BIBLES. I no longer need to think about what methods to use to deceive them, because now I can use any method, and they will be so weak, that any method will work!
Blessed are YOU when YOU read this and THINK IT IS ABOUT OTHER people and NOT YOURSELF -- I've got YOU! With people like YOU increasing, I can retire from my job soon.

Version 2

Blessed are they who are too tired and busy to assemble with the church on Sunday; for they are my best workers.

Blessed are they who are bored with the minister's manner-isms and mistakes; for they get nothing out of the sermon.

Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church; for he is important to me.

Blessed are they who do not meet with the church on Sunday; for they cause the world to say, "The church is failing."

Blessed are they who are easily offended; for they get angry and quit.

Blessed are they who do not give to carry on God's work and missions; for they are my helpers.

Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother; for he will be with me forever. Blessed are the trouble-makers; for they shall be called the children of the devil.

Blessed is he who has not time to pray; for he shall be easy prey for me.

Film Review

Dear oh dear!! What a waste of my time seeing this! I had heard bad reviews but thought it was going to overcome them! It started off ok, but by the end I did loathe it! There was no conclusion and as I turned to my poor friend who came with me, all he said was 'sequal'! So look out for 'Jumper 2: boredom can kill'!!

Film Review

Made the most of my unlimited card yet again today... The adverts for this film looked very appealing, but the best bits of the film were really all within that advert. I liked the film as a whole, had a small 'Napoleon Dynamite' something about it, but not as odd! The opening titles were a little bit TV show for my liking. It was funny in parts, but not a film I would choose to watch again in a hurry. It was a different to norm portrayal of life. I would say to go and see it, but don't expect lots from it.

The best review I read is this one....

My Article

An article I wrote got published online yesterday. All very exciting, as it is the first thing I have written in a long time. It took a lot of bravery to write some parts, but it was worth it.

Have read!

My New Website

I am SO excited as last night I started work on my new photography website. Obviously it is being built right now. But I have enlisted the help of a very generous expert who will make it amazing.

Film Review

Did it live up to all of the hype? Hmmm...I would think so. It doesn't help that it wasn't really my kind of film. It was shot really well and does have oscar written all over it. The character of Daniel was very interesting, you never quite felt comfortable about what he was going to do next! I would recomend going to see it, but perhaps not in a cinema that has broken heating like where I went!

Friends Overseas

One of my very bestest friends Clare has been working in the Philippines for two sections of time since July. She is home in 10 sleeps time and I am so excited to see her. I've sat today re-reading her blogs. The work she has been doing is amazing. The change in her attitude and thinking is a blessing to see (well, read about!) In true blog fashion, some of her entries have really challenged me. If you need a reminder of how blessed we are in this country, read her blog.

What Makes A Church?

This evening at our youth service Amanda got the youth to respond to the theme of 'one church' by writing what they liked about our church on a block. Seeing what they put was interesting.

Love - Community - Friendship - Support - People - Generosity - Relationships - Action - Evangelism - Honesty - Friendship

Memories

I have had a huge board covered in hundreds of small photos in my bedroom for years. It's so big that when I moved from my parents into my flat we had to pick it up in the church minibus as it wouldnt fit in a car!

I decided to take it down after many years. The photos were quite old and I wanted to change things round on the walls in my bedroom. (I think I may be growing up!) My wonderful Dad came round and cut it in half with a saw to add to his collection of wood in the garage! The picture board was broken down into family, work, school, uni friends and church/youthgroup friends. The photos ranged from about 1996 to 2003, depending on the 'section'! As I sat and took each photo off they all brought back memories. It was a mixtures of emotions. Happy times and forgotten times. Sadness was brought on by photos of relatives who are sadly no longer alive.

As I looked at pictures from school it made me realise that none of those people are really in my life anymore. All the photos we took on the last days, all the messages we wrote to each other, none of it has really lasted. I am a totally different person now to who I was at school. I do often wonder that if I was who I am now, at school then, would I have had the same friends? Would I have done the same things and eneded up where I have today? Its one of those thoughts that could spiral a long way! I do still see people from school on occassions and the times I had with them will always stay with me. Some of these people I have on facebook, but it still does not mean a lot if there is no contact there.

My uni photos will always make me smile as it was such a happy time for me, the last two years especially. I have made firm friends there that I know I will always stay in touch with, even though we are spread around the UK. There were lots of pictures from the end of uni with people that I knew I wouldn't see again. As it was such a short part of my life I wanted to capture a lot of it in photos through the people I lived with, worked with, partied with and studied with.

The biggest area of sorrow for me is the photos taken with friends I grew up with in church and local youth groups. Its the same story as I am sure that anyone who has been a teenage christian will experience. People no longer walking with God. People we saw living their lives for God, who no longer do. I am in the position where I still know a lot of the people from my local area that I grew up with in church. But it breaks my heart to see them so far from God. If it saddens me, then how must God feel?! Obviously we all have free choice to make our own decisions, but I do believe once someone is a christian it always stays in your heart somewhere.

There has been a lot of change in my life recently and I think this little task today challenged my thoughts even more! As I left my job of five years, a friend I used to work with said that I would now find out who my real friends were. In a busy, tight-knit work environment a lot of false working relationships are made and we mistake it for friendship sometimes.

I have no Gerry Springer style final thought after this long entry. All I would say is who do we consider to be good friends, but don't ever let them know? I know there are people I think about and miss seeing, but don't ever tell them as life ticks by too quickly. Also, with reference to above, I am very keen to not lose current youth I am involved with once they leave school for uni or the working world. This is always 'make or break' time in my opinon when it comes to following God.

(thanks for reading, its been a long one for me!!)

An Example To Us All

I just observed two teenage school kids that I simply had to write about. In true 1970's style reference : Love Is.....skipping down the road, holding hands, not caring what anyone thinks!

Say It With A Card

Foggy Morning

Originally uploaded by Roothie

This morning's weather gave me a great opportunity to pop up the road from my flat and take some lovely photos.

The rest of the images can be found online.

All That Is Pink

This morning I was experimenting with some lens converters that I purchased on ebay. I decided to photograph bright pink items from my bathroom.

Spring Is On The Way

Seen the first blossom trees this morning. Not only are they my favourite, but they are a sign of new life and brightness after winter.

Sad News

It has played a part in most of our childhoods. However after 30 years the secondary school teen drama is being axed!

Lent Sacrifice

I led a session on lent on Sunday morning with the youth. I rarely give something up, but decided that this year it should be cheese. Anyone who knows me well knows that I LOVE cheese!! Its going to be an interesting 40 days, but I'm up for the challenge.

Some of my notes from that session :

• The observance of Lent is an opportunity to stop and reflect, to repent, to confess our sins, and to prepare to receive Christ into our lives afresh again on Easter morning.
• Lent is an opportunity to discuss where traditions such as ‘Pancake Day’ and ‘giving things up for Lent’ come from, and also to reflect on where they desire to see change in their lives.
• One of the things Christians like to put off is repenting. Repenting is what we do when we say sorry to God for our sins, and resolve to do things differently in future.
• Having a special time of year for repentance helps us to get around to dealing with things we have been ignoring, and stops us from putting it off any longer.

By His Stripes

This is a new production that our n:flame theatre team have produced for taking in to schools and youth groups.

Blurb : By His Stripes is the new production from the n:forum team. It is set up as a ‘Jeremy Kyle' type talk show, where Jesus Christ is being tried live on television. The actors play the host and the guests. All the talk show guests appear as witnesses for either the defence or the prosecution. Each of the defence witnesses are people from the gospel narratives of Jesus’ life. They are - a woman caught in an adulterous relationship who is severely bullied by the local mob and a society outcast who both isolates himself and cuts himself. Pupils will be treated as audience members of the chat show, being encouraged to boo, cheer, get up on stage and interview the characters. Through interrogation, debate, testimony and slandering of the characters (mixed of course with lots of talk-show drama!), we will open wide the issues of honesty and deceit.


If you're interested in this then please let me know.

Surrounding Ourselves

On the way to the tube at St Paul's yesterday we passed the Salvation Army International Headquarters. It is a very modern building with lots of glass and metal. The scripture on the outer walls stood out to me. As I peered in I noticed that scripture was on every glass wall throughout as much of the building that I could see. The people that work there are literally surrounded by scripture. It made me think that we should be like this structure, surrounding ourselves with God's word. It protects and proves witness.

(the only down point was that it was tough to photograph!!)

Bridging The Gap

This photo opportunity was not to be missed. For some reason yesterday two women had set chairs either side of the crack and were chatting over it. It spoke to me for many reasons. It could either be taken in a negative or positive way. Do we continue through life ignoring things? Do we reach out to people regardless? How close to things do we get? I have no 'cheesy' definte tag line to go with this, it just made me think a bit.

Captions/Thoughts to add to this are welcome....

A Cultured Day

So today I went into London with a friend to check out a couple of exhibitions. Since I no longer work in central London going in for a day has become a novelty again. I even took a little packed lunch!

We started by going to The Photographers Gallery. However the main gallery was changing exhibits over, so there was not much to see. The main exhibition that was up was, erm, interesting to say the least!! Not really my kind of thing. I politely walked round and then left quickly! The smaller exhibit was interesting, but sadly not featured on website!

We then went on to The Natural History Museum to a photography exhibition. The photos were amazing (obviously as they were highest contenders in competition!!) Some of the categories were 11-15 years and 10 and under! Their pictures put my work to shame! I hadn't been to TNHM since I was very young so I had to check out the dinosours. It was also a huge link to my favourite childhood film!

We then headed on to The Tate Modern to see the latest Turbine Hall offering. I had wanted to see the 'crack' for ages and it was quite something. I took one shot that I will seperately blog on. It is definately worth a visit.

I enjoyed walking round London and taking silly photos with Joel. It reminded me that I do not go into London for exhibitions nearly as much as I should. I can't take a work day off each time, so going to have to brave it on a Saturday.